My So-Called Life Right Now…

“When life hands you lemons…just say f*ck the lemons and bail…”

Dear People Who Read This and/or Care for An Update,

Yesterday I created my own spin on this quote whilst sunning myself.  Since life has handed me some serious bushels of lemons lately, I decided to make a wine spritzer (or 5) and reflect on my life.

I’m still unemployed in Portland.  Over the past 3+ months, I’ve sent out countless resumes, worked with a recruiting agency including 3 different types of recruiters at said agency, been on interviews, had phone interviews and even FaceTime interviews-I find the key is turning into a living mullet for those…business on top, party pants (or bikini) on bottom.  I have done all these things for jobs both here in Portland and in Seattle.

I spent all last weekend working on a 15 question email interview for a luxury travel company in Seattle and thought I nailed it…I got a rejection email Monday, which brings the tally of “no” emails this week to 2.

I somehow have not become an alcoholic yet, likely due to the fact that I am a broke ass ho that also refuses to earn money for my fix on the dirty streets.  Life has also not gotten bad enough for me to seek employment in the strip club capital of the Pacific Northwest…stay tuned, things change quickly around here.

Ummm, I’m currently trying to plot how to get paid for being utterly ridiculous.  I’ve gotten really good at it.

I made myself into an emoji the other day.

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Which means two things:

  1. I really need a f*cking job 
  2. My life has reached a serious low point.

In other news, I’ve gotten an excellent summer tan as I’ve laid in the sun 2 hours a day for the past 6 days and before that spent an epic wedding weekend in the Chelan sun.

Hmmm…

That leads us to yesterday.

Where I found myself reading in my yard.  Where I finished a bottle of white wine before it was 5 o’clock somewhere (YOLO!) and where I started the 3rd book I’ve begun in 3 weeks…

Feel free to judge me or laugh immensely at me now.  OR, relate to me and tell me I’m not alone in my FUNemployment adventures.

Either way, read this while drinking a strong beverage…I find it helps!  Also, I hope this makes you smile.   Although life is proving challenging for me this year and especially in the recent months, I’m always finding a reason to keep on keepin’ on, you should too.

Yours in humor, smart assism, and warriorhood!

xx,

Me

Highlight Reel…

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“A lot can happen in a year…” –Unknown

Welp, kids.  Another year has come and gone.  You’ll start to notice some changes over here on // Little Talks {capital letters, anyone?!}  I will be launching a new blog soon…STAY TUNED PLEASE!  With a new year and a coming of a new age // decade…hello, 30?  Can you hear me?!  I decided it was time to make a serious shift in my blogging and really take my writing to new heights.  With that being said, I always find it very important to remember where you’ve started and all the punctuation and grammar in between.  So without further ado, I’m keepin’ it real, with my 2015 highlight reel.

My blog was viewed 1,000 times last year.  Not a huge number in the grand scheme of the interwebs, however, for this little blog, that was a MASSIVE improvement from it’s past years in existence.  HUGE SHOUT OUT TO MY READERS, however, few and far between you may be…THANK YOU!

My most viewed posts:

  1. vanishing acts… Apparently some of you can relate to falling prey to the Houdini’s in the dating world.   The value of putting down the technology that pulls us in and looking up to see the love and magic surrounding us on a daily basis is immeasurable.  I don’t want it to ever pass me by.
  2. sea of cynics…  It would seem that I have a squad.  Those of us who refuse to settle for the millennial versions of dating and are still attempting to hold onto the {now} old fashioned ways of dating and believing in love.  “When optimism, positive vibes and love prevail so begins the death march on cynicism, negativity and rooted hate.”  I’m glad I wrote this post to help remind me.
  3. adulting 101…  Not much needs to be said.  I had a feeling when I posted this {short} series, it would resonate with my fellow 20 somethings out there trying to navigate the road of adulthood.  Cheers to us for surviving and creating our own stories to tell through it all!
  4. adulting 201…  Not shocking that this follow up post got some more viewing love.  As we continue growing up and into who we’re going to become, it’s important to remember to revel in the struggles as much as the victories.  So buy the heels and enjoy that shower beer, you’re an adult!
  5. frisky business…  Relief is the word that comes to mind knowing this post was a well viewed one.  It’s nice to know that those of you who do follow me, support my goals and are part of the community that helps propel me forward towards my writing dreams.

Although my post comments are most frequently received from my darling grandmother {thanks Grandma!}, I am so grateful that your eyes reached this blog.  Hopefully our // Little Talks have inspired you in some way or another, to live your truth, continue learning and loving and laughing through the adventure of life!

I can’t wait to write what happens next…

xx

adulting 201…

“oh baby, it’s a wild world…” -cat stevens

welp, this week, i’ve graduated from 101 to 201 in the game of adulting…if you didn’t get to catch that sarcastic rant, please catch up on your class notes here : adulting 101.  i’m progressing myself to the next level because in the game of M Y life, i’m the professor and the only grade i care about, is the one i’m giving myself.

with that said…i’ve had a breakthrough.  i was trying to find a sliver of hope to grasp in these last few months of my twenty something life.  i have discovered the key to surviving my final year as i say a final goodbye to my twenties and welcome a new decade.  which will inevitably prepare me to conquer the next phase of this wild world…{30 surely comes with a guidebook.  right?}  but, just in case it doesn’t and i have several more “learning” years on the horizon…i’m going to be in my tree fort, coloring outside the lines, in mismatched socks, drinking a glass of champagne…celebrating my growing limited moments of the F word.

FREEDOM. yep.  choose to enjoy it.  swim in it, revel in it, dance all night in it.

be F R E E.

make the decisions you can make with only Y O U in mind. relish in the few things we get to do for ourselves that only effect ourselves…run with it…while you’re still single, free of a type A boss breathing down your neck or a bouncing baby on your hip, a dog nipping at your leg, sore feet from a 13 hour bar shift…anything making you beautifully exhausted in that next life phase you’re after.

EMBRACE THE SINGLENESS OF ADULTHOOD! yes, in my research i did manage to find some positive reasons for enjoying the art of this whole adulting thing.  behold!

the T O P 5  T H I N G S about being an adult:


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  1. shower beers: shampoo bottle feeling lonely in the glass box of cleanliness?  bring in a friend.  a fine seasonal lager will do on a late september evening!  housemate is gone making the people around to judge you = zero.  at least not until you post it on social media.  {insert the not actually embarrassed//embarrassed emoji here.}
  2. wine for dinner: there is no one to tell you it’s unhealthy {if they try, kindly unfriend them}.  it’s basically science.  wine comes from grapes.  grapes are a fruit.  fruit plays an important role with the healthy fruits and vegetables category on the nutrition pyramid.  you practically ate salad for dinner.  look at you go!  you health nut, you! pat yourself on the back and pour another glass!
  3. shopping: no one gets to tell you what to do with your hard-earned cash.  at age 12, yes mom, it was probably too soon for me to use my babysitting money to purchase Cosmo and read articles way ahead of my puberty path.  at age 29, i can buy a sexy new pair of pumps and have to wait until my next payday to afford food.  only Gucci can judge me.
  4. choosing your own bedtime: tired?  no one has to know that on a friday at age 29, you called it a night at 8pm.  for all your friends who aren’t receiving a text reply from you in the wee hours after 10pm know, you could be on a fabulous date or on a brilliant solo adventure.  sprawl out in your cozy bed and rest up, sleeping beauty!
  5. underpants: what’s adorable when you’re a pigtailed kid can become liberating when you’re a top knotted adult.  whenever you aren’t in a public place, i strongly encourage you to wear underpants of all shapes and styles around the house and take your bra off whenever you can…rock this look with a shirt, without a shirt.  there’s no one around to know.  are you wearing a bra? are you even wearing underpants? who cares!  you’re the boss.

feel free to add your favorite rights to being an adult in the comments below…

oh! and stay tuned for the 3rd and final class of the A D U L T I N G mini series.

adult on, kids. xx