Sexless and the City: The Very Beginning

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Photo Credit: carleyjayne photography

“I think you might be becoming cynical…” -Jo

“Fine.  Let’s sign me up, but we’re going to need more wine.” -Me

I’ve had some strong internal debates about even publishing a series with SEX in the title because let’s be honest, my grandmother and dad read this…and they don’t need to know about my sex life, or intense lack of…

But, in the spirit of honesty and coming full circle with the reason this whole blog began (holy shit, five years ago!), I’m doing it.  I’m a grown woman and I realized, I just have to go balls deep.  All the puns intended.

So get hydrated, grab your sense of humor, and your screens.  We’re going in…

Online dating, amirite?  It’s like suddenly being blind and realizing that all the charm, intellect, and humor you thought you had on lockdown to get you through most of your life just aren’t going to cut it anymore.  So you contact your wine dealer (because NECESSITY) and you go down the rabbit hole.  It feels like the scariest and bravest thing to do all at the same time.  And there are enough stories for me to write a book (any editors/publishers reading?  Hit me up.)  Seriously.

I’m not being dramatic when I say that dating in this millennial age is one of the most ridiculous activities I’ve ever participated in.  Like I’d maybe even trade it for some of those rough days in Freshman year PE class where myself and three other females were stuck with all Junior and Senior boys, playing dodgeball.  Come to think of it, that was probably where I first really found my feminine power so maybe those years helped prepare me in some way for dating…because let me tell you, despite its chaos; dating in these times is also empowering AF.  Like when the dude that’s been flirting with you in PE class (by throwing balls as hard as he can just below your face) finally gets his when you look him dead in the eyes as you catch it and get him out and then proceed to throw it at his buddy and it’s a twofor and you feel like a boss bitch. (Yes this happened).

Some of my (now) best and worst stories to tell are from my experience this past year+, putting myself out there, drafting and rewriting profiles to make myself sound awesome, while also staying true to my authenticity – quite the skill set actually, just building my tool box here, kids!  It legitimately had me wishing for 90s dating in Manhattan because despite some of the questionable fashion choices, at least Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte had each other, strong drinks, and some of them were actually getting laid.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’ve got people.  We aren’t a foursome, wearing $585 shoes, stomping on men in the city together, but I do have at least three close girlfriends who help keep me sane through my life messes and celebrate all the good stuff with me too.  The challenge is, we’re rarely single at the same time.  So a lot of my single in the city adventures are just that…me, single AF, figuring it out.  Several of my friends have had luck online or they’ve found their person other ways and their caring asses have been pushing me to put myself out there (when I’d really prefer to just stay home and read about great loves with Jane Austen by candlelight).  But, since I realized my friend Jo was right, I was becoming cynical…just a little…and I’d also read that cynicism can cause wrinkles, I allowed myself to be coerced after we shared a bottle and a half of Rosé.

Being lubricated with a nice pink drink buzz, I renounced my power to craft a clever profile to Jo.  I threw all caution to the wind and although I consider myself decently eloquent with words, I just couldn’t quite articulate myself in a fetching way, since I was still getting my head wrapped around this idea.  Match.com was the first mark.  We explored and scrolled, read profiles and drank more wine.  We stumbled upon a handsome guy who seemed to share my love of travel and adventure so I decided to hand over my credit card to subscribe me so we could write him.  I never did end up hearing from him through Match, but we proceeded to match on another app (more on this later) like no joke, four times; masochism becomes a theme you’ll find here.  Jo and I also both fell in love with who we affectionately named “Seal Guy”.  He was a very attractive marine mammal scientist and spent a lot of time out on the water and part of me was thinking, “YES!  A potential part time boyfriend.  Just what my independent and stubborn ass needs. Something like that could be perfect.”  Well, he wasn’t even in wifi consistently enough to talk to me in the prelims let alone plan a meet cute.  I will say my intro message to him was drunkenly epic (and also embarrassingly cheesy)…a few marine puns were used that got his attention, but that ship sank.  (I’m here all night).

As I entered my first work week being “out there online”, I decided to edit my profile and make it sound a little more like me.  Actual text:

I’ve been informed by my amazing friends that the likelihood of meeting a decent guy whilst rocking my athleisure wear in the laundry detergent aisle is really slim…so here I am.

I have been told I’m an old soul, but also young at heart. I’m a city girl that was raised in the country and I can hold my own in both. I caught the travel bug early and I’m always longing for far away places while adventuring around this wonderful, rainy city. I am fiercely independent and I want to find a partner who can keep up with and laugh with me.

I’m a people person and base a lot of my happiness on being in the crowd. I have a deep passion for helping people and continue to create opportunities that allow me to foster relationships committed to worthy causes. I can fold a fitted shit like a boss, however, that doesn’t mean I’m the woman that will do it for you, but I’ll happily teach you…or we can just build a fort instead.

I enjoy meeting new people and I also deeply adore my alone time and disconnecting to gain perspective, get outside, tap into my creative interests, or binge watch old movies.

I love laughing…it’s literally my favorite. A large dose of sarcasm is at the heart of my vernacular and I can keep up with the best of them so if you want a spot on my team, you better be lighthearted and funny too or you can’t hang. I’m spontaneous and all about pursuing life to the fullest and seizing the moment. Music is something that just seems to get me, we’ve gotten each other through a lot and there’s always a soundtrack to my life.

I lived in Australia for a year…traveling around, slinging drinks behind a bar, and exploring. I booked a one way ticket, bought a backpack, and jumped all in. If that sounds crazy to you, it sort of was a little, but in the most epic possible way. My experiences traveling have forever changed me and I can’t wait for the next destination I fall in love with.

I don’t take myself or life too seriously and I’ve become a pro at seeing silver linings and dancing in the rain. Seriously, I’m not afraid to break it down in the street and dance in the rain…if you can’t join me or laugh at me when I’m being ridiculous, take your black cloud elsewhere. I’ll just be over here being awesome without you and having all the fun!

Did anyone notice I spelled sheet wrong?  Yeah…neither did I until like a MONTH later when I was at a birthday dinner and a friend was reading my profile out loud.  Although my pride took a bit of a dive due to my grammatical error, considering this story is still told in my circle today and it makes Jo laugh every time she folds sheets, it was worth it.  At this point I had been on one coffee date with a guy named Rick (we all know that wasn’t going anywhere) who was a perfectly nice guy…the exact right person to pop my online dating cherry, smooth just like my hemp milk latte.  I continued messaging back and forth with some other guys…boring, boring…enter Seattle Chad*.  We met one night after work for a drink, post flirting about old movies and favorite books, I was intrigued and he wore nice flannels in his photos.

We learn all about him and his BIG………ego, next episode.

Wear protection, it’s rough out there.

xx, h

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Photo Credit: carleyjayne photography

*Name has been changed to protect identity of former date

I feel it coming…

img_7411Photo Credit: carleyjayne photography

“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

My blog is dusty. But, it has settled and I can see clearly now. (Cue the music).

My lack of posting is not due to writers block (thank the gods), but more-so self care is the culprit.  How can I write all the things (profound and personal, ridiculous and irrelevant), if I have personal work to do first?  My iPhone notes are covered in musings and observations, feelings and lessons learned, original quotes, that have developed over the past almost year since I’ve really published anything consistently.

If you’re still here reading this little blog of mine, thank you. I appreciate that you find something in it that feels worth your precious time.  Really I do, more than you know.

It’s not new that 2016 was a doozy for me (and many of you) personally…but we warriored through and survived because we’re bad ass humans who are resilient and capable of doing hard things.

Enter 2017, amirite? It was like 2016 woke up the morning of December 31, hungover AF (because the holidays) and was like, “damn, this shit has been CRAZY. Tonight it’s all gonna change.” And 2017 laughed hysterically and was like, “Hold my Bloody Mary, watch this!”

It’s continued to be another year of struggle, lessons, mistakes, frustrations, wins, and all the things, mostly in a global sense. Pretty sure I just put that SO lightly.  Let’s be real…2017 was a universal DUMPSTER FIRE.  Nationally, we let the most unqualified, misogynistic, narcissist come into the highest power office in the world.  Who then tried to make an immigration ban a thing, attempted to deny rights to women and their bodies, pulled us out of the Paris Climate Agreement, went on to reverse the ban on importing elephant and rhino trophies, denied the rights of some of our most vulnerable communities, continued hiding behind his Twitter feed to launch threats and (almost) nuclear war with N. Korea, took away Net Neutrality, our affordable healthcare, and so many more depressing and shocking moves that would be an entire post on its own and he who must not be named and his ministry of evil don’t deserve that.  Hollywood got the series of wake up calls it needed (insert prayer emoji) and men realized it was time to sit the hell down and shut up.  Globally, there have been some wins for LOVE and marriage equality, some serious statements made in terms of government, big moves made to stand up for the planet and against American bullies, fear, success, hard work, ethics, business, and progressive action.

Personally, I’ve actually had a pretty damn good year in my modest little city life. There have been some bumps, to be sure, but it’s been good due to the self care, self development, and hard ass work I’ve put in to let go of some heavy baggage. BYEEE!  When the hard work must be done, the best way to get through it is taking a serious inventory of your tribe.  I don’t even know how, but I have managed to surround myself with the absolute best humans and I thank the stars every millisecond for my good fortune to have them by my side.  I had some wins in matters of the heart, because I finally started truly listening to mine.  I found the art of self care and took action to make space for more ME in my daily life.  This brought me to meditation, back to yoga, reading books, writing, photography, doodling and handlettering, nutrition, holistic health, and so many other positive things.  This year I gave myself the gift of well, myself.  Sounds selfish maybe or self involved, but really, while working on letting go of the past, I found even more me, and that’s pretty damn cool.  Learned to like myself, fall deeper in love with myself, and never take for granted all that I have and am capable of manifesting.  Which brought me to finding my path in life and choosing to enroll in school to become a nutritionist in holistic health.  HOLLA.

I worked hard at my job, my family life, my friendships, my budget, my heart, trusting my gut…I put myself first when I needed to and sacrificed myself for others.  I grew more into my activist, feminist AF, outraged, woke, humanitarian self and posted about ocean conservation and the effects of climate change.  I attended an amazing and peaceful immigration rally, donated to organizations making big things happen, called my congress people, my senators, signed petitions, engaged in enlightening conversations, and used my privilege to do a little more good for the world.

I drank gallons of coffee, wine, whisky, water, and power. Then I threw myself out into the world of millennial dating and was vulnerable and fiercely myself.  I collected stories, cry laughed A LOT, shared stories, made people almost pee from cry laughing so hard (because dating is ridiculous), trusted myself more, realized I owe no one anything, stood up for myself, shared opinions, was brutally honest, said what I needed to say, even when it was scary.

I don’t want to give too much away just yet on the dating front because I’ve got a series coming for you and I won’t even try to be humble, it’s GOOOOD. Because it’s real mother effing life and it’s relatable, guaranteed.

I encourage you to pour a drink, like a strong one. Don’t even worry about that “on the rocks” shit. Ice melts. And you know what that does to your drink? It waters it down. Nah. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life. You need a stiff one. Because you’re going to read my series and laugh with me as I share the bits and pieces of my dating life over the last year +.

Stay tuned.

Sexless and the City…it is coming.

Oh and happy new year!  Seriously, whether it was one of the best or worst of your life, you get 365 fresh ones to write your story, don’t waste it.  Make every day the best day in the year.  2018…it’s going to be a goody, I feel it coming.

Thanks for sticking with me.

Xx,

h

img_7414Photo Credit: carleyjayne photography

So this is the New Year…

“Ring out the false, ring in the true.”  -Alfred Lord Tennyson

I realize this post about the New Year comes about 5 months and 30 days tardy, but I always arrive fashionably late so deal with it.

Writing is hard.  Like once I start going for it, it becomes this easy thing like breathing and it just flows out of me.  What I mean when I say it’s hard is that it’s raw, it’s naked, and it forces feelings to come to the surface that let’s face it, we as adult humans get really good at setting aside.  I want to try my hardest not to do that so often and I have been working on it, trust me…just haven’t so much been writing about it.  Writing for me is one of the most vulnerable things I do…and it’s been hard for me to allow myself to go there for awhile.

(Truth time: I started writing this post shortly after the new year, then again in March…it’s July tomorrow…just sayin’.)

Let me give you a little recap of what the last year was like in the life of me

I’ll just lay the disclaimer right out there on the table: 2016 was literally the HARDEST WORST F*CKED PAINFUL ETC. year of my whole damn life.  Not exaggerating, not emphasizing for dramatic effect, this is just a fact people.

I began 2016, well, 9 days into last year, by getting my ass kicked.  Physically, yeah…that happened.  Assaulted.  Shoulder grabbed, yanked down to the ground, kicked, hair pulled, drug through the dirt, personal space violated, and expensive technology stolen, by a couple of females.  I won’t go into more detail than that, but it was some scary and eye-opening shit.   I came out of it fine other than some cuts and scrapes, a really bad hair day, and some new emotional baggage to work through oh and a residual shoulder injury that still gives me a really hard time to this day.  Things could have been a lot worse and I am so grateful that it’s all behind me now.  Moment of gratitude to thank the people who helped raise me, who gifted me the ability to see perspective in a tough experience, take the hard, and turn it into empathy.  Being able to look at situations of adversity from the other side is not an easy mission, but it is sometimes the most important piece.  I didn’t just have to take time to heal through that experience for myself, but for the young women who’s lives have brought them to a place where taking that kind of physical action as opposed to using communication is their way of life.  Perspective is power…that was lesson 1 last year.

Some of you that have been following along my random adventures over the past few years know that I spent last summer in Portland, unemployed/FUNemployed (most days), and that I headed back to Seattle late last summer to start fresh in the city I have called home for most of my adult life and second home the rest of my life.  Making Seattle home again wasn’t a decision that came easy or one that was written in the stars for me like I expected it to be.  Since returning to the states, it’s been a long time coming actually.  I couldn’t be happier to be back though, settled into my little cottage oasis in the city that has changed so much over the years, and be working and doing life near my friends and family again.

Fall came in hot with a new nanny job which I LOVE, closing a door on a REALLY f*cking tough love (yeah, that old chestnut FINALLY dropped from the tree for good in October-stay tuned…that vulnerability is coming), and a newfound sense of freedom and self love.  When people say that finding your balance in life is a journey, they’re actually not even a little bit kidding.  And what an adventure it’s been…

I’ve always been fiercely independent, strong willed, and SO open hearted…and truth be told, despite A LOT of heartache and disappointment, it’s NEVER steered me wrong.  With all the trials and tribulations that 2016 brought me in personal health and wellbeing, emotional stability, heartache, mistakes, trust, listening, being heard, self-care, relationships, all that life shiiiiiit,  I have never learned harder, the value of following your own gut instincts…yeah, that was lesson 2.  Now that I’ve (almost) mastered it (real talk, I’m always going to be a work in progress and what brilliant work it is!), I am living a really great version of my life and coming out on top of all the bullshit I survived last year, is a feeling of raw empowerment like I’ve never known.

Through that empowerment, I had to make some really difficult decisions and cull some relationships in my life that were providing me with nothing, but toxicity and draining my heart and soul.  I’ve written about how friend break ups are some of the hardest we experience in adulthood, the factor that makes that one the most challenging, is having to do the work to forgive the people we have to let go of…even when they don’t say they are sorry.  You guessed it…lesson 3, forgiveness.

I chose to disconnect from a 12 year friendship with someone who seemed to be dead set on walking the path towards the pool where Narcissus died.  I knew my love of Greek mythology would be forever, but I didn’t know until last year how painful it could be.  I let go of the BIG love of my life or more brutally, it walked out on me and slammed the door.  Where pain, ego, secrets, insecurities, passion, trust, empathy, unconditional love, fear, were present and thriving and also drowning.  The demise was a long time coming (as you’ve likely gathered), sadly ending an almost 7 year best friendship in its wake.  Freshly reeling from this loss, in the same 72 hours, I had to set hard boundaries with a soul friend who has been a love in my life, but who I felt I’d started enabling; a rapid spiral where love and lie gets so brutally blurred.  I’m not sure where this one will end, my heart remains so hopeful that the shadows can find the light again and if not, the love I have for this person will never cease and the forgiveness work has been done; it will always run deep and eternal.

So in review, 2016 brought a physical ass beating and then continued to mentally and emotionally kick my ass ALL. YEAR. LONG.

12 months. 356 days (yeah that’s 365 minus those first 9 days that seemed so bad ass)…of some hard damn times.  But, being ever the optimist that I try daily to be, those days were the most character building of my life thus far.  Even more so than my backpacking days in the land down under, more so than my crazy college times, more so than any other time life prepared me to survive and thrive through some serious shit storms.  I have come into 2017, a new year, so much stronger, so much lighter, more empowered, more focused, more in love with myself than I’ve ever been and the momentum keeps building.

I have a strong feeling that the final days of this year will be some of the greatest I’ve known, because…really, when all is said and done, when all the false and heavy has been laid to rest, it is the truth we have to live for.  The truth is what gives everyday the chance to be our new best day.

Hoping 2017 has brought you all happiness and health and that the coming days are some of your best!

Cheers,

h

Catch Up Post: The Guide to, YOU…

*Catch up post from June 2016…this is getting shameful*

“Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire…” –Unknown

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I don’t know about the rest of you {now} 30 something’s, but entering a new decade creates this profound need for reflection.  Looking back into the pool of my roaring 20s lately has me reeling with lessons learned, pieces of my heart and myself lost and forgotten or lost and found and forgiven.  It’s a time to be fearless, grab life by the balls and figure out who the hell you are and who you want to be in this amazing adventure we call L I F E.

This past decade has been one of the most challenging and crazy, beautiful times I can imagine.  Your twenties seem to be where a lot of the hard lessons are taught and hopefully learned; we make a million and one mistakes and try to fight hard to become better and not bitter throughout the hurdles that get in our way.  There are so many metaphors and memes and quotes that apply to and can inspire us through this time of growth, but the most important thing we can take from it all is our sense of self.

I am a single,  30 year old who has been happy in relationships, been sad in relationships, been happily single and lonely single, been in good jobs, bad jobs, awesome places and dodgy places.  I’ve moved from a small hometown to a small college town to a big city to a foreign country.  I’ve lived in more apartments and houses than I can probably count now, I’ve acquired furniture to fill those apartments and houses and sold all my furniture to fill none.  I’ve attended a lot of parties; college ones, birthday ones, engagement ones.  Then comes the day when parties turn into showers; bridal kinds, baby kinds, etc.

What I’ve learned in attending all these parties and showers, planning my days and nights, outfits and paychecks around the amazing humans I have in my life, is that there comes a day, when you just have to say no.  Sometimes, it just gets to be too much.  You can’t do it all, even when you’re out here, trying to be Super Wonder Cat Woman.  Recently, I’ve had some hard lessons thrown at me…my guess, 29 just wasn’t quite ready to let me off easy as time brought me closer to my birthday and the big  3-0.  Remember that sense of self I listed above as being the glue that sticks all those hard times together?  Yeah.  I really should take my own advice more often.  Part of our sense of self is our intuition; that gut instinct that tells us whether something is feeling right or wrong.  We’re told from childhood that we should trust it, that we should listen to that little voice in our heads that tells us when something doesn’t feel good.  The reality is, we don’t always follow it and that usually gets us into trouble.

Speaking from experience, I now know how crucial it is in my personal development, my true sense of self, to follow my gut instincts and tap into my deepest desires; as my grandpa says, “get that fire in the belly back in your life!”  I’ve learned how important the power of saying no is as I get older and grow deeper into who I am meant to be.  Although difficult and at times heartbreaking, it’s been a definitive highlight in my process of getting older.  It’s tough to lose lovers, but one of the hardest relationships to lose is with friends who you’ve had for a long time and who you thought would be in your life forever.  As I continue my journey, I’m discovering just how life altering it is when you weigh quality over quantity.

So as I continue to learn and grow, rise and fall, I will exhibit my power of no, to parties and showers, to outings, to bad energy and I will continue following my intuition, to set my soul on fire.

For you, I wish you will find the same.

xx,

Me

Catch Up Post: A Historical Monday

*Another August 2016 catch up post*

“A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason, to always be curious, to fight tirelessly for something.” -Paulo Coelho

Biking with my 4 year old Portland housemate, her mama, and my cousin…a wolf in boy form approaches us howling, quite convincingly I might add.  I am shocked that we weren’t swarmed by a wolf pack or at least by several neighborhood dogs.  His call of the wild is legit.

And thus commenced one of the best conversations of my entire existence…

Me: What’s your name, buddy?

“My name’s Otter.  I hate it though.  I’m changing it tomorrow to Johnny X!”  (I can’t make this shit up, people.)

Otter: Doctor Calico has one green eye and a slot where his pupil should be in the other. (Random transition, but does it matter?)

Me: Can you put a coin in his eye slot?!

Otter: No!  (gives me a look of pure horrification) If you do, he puts lasers in your mouth!

Me: So this Doc Calico isn’t really a helpful doctor is he?  More like a Mad Scientist?

Otter: Yessssss! (Rolls eyes to the high heavens) he is bad.  VERY bad!

Like, duhhhhhh, Hallie.  Everyone knows Doctor Calico.

Did I mention that Otter can run really fast?  Don’t believe me?  Just believe me.  Or ask Usain Bolt, they’re no longer on speaking terms.  The Flash can also vouch for him and he knows ALLLLLL about The Flash!  I don’t know about you, but I typically don’t question superheroes or to be honest, 5 year olds…they know things.

Otter is also a time traveler.  The little dude has not only seen dinosaurs, he’s eaten right along side Mr. Mondosaurus.  Who according to Otter is the largest dinosaur, like ever…(which for those of you that weren’t obsessed with dinos as a wee one and who didn’t watch The Land Before Time-the original-x1,000,000, isn’t a real thing.)  According to my 4 year old-albeit dusty-knowledge, Spinosaurus was the largest predator that ever lived…occasionally munching on T Rex for snack time.  But I didn’t want to ruin Otter’s Monday, they’re hard enough as it is.  Another fact about Spinosaurus, he was the first swimmer to roam the earth…move over Michael Phelps.  You have competition because a dinosaur obsessed, wolfboy is also on your flank…Otter can swim.

As my evening went on, hearing more mind blowing stories from my man Otter, who I’m quite certain is the first human I know to actually be named after his spirit animal, I couldn’t help but wonder…why are we here?  What does it all mean?  I started questioning my entire existence.  (Aren’t you?)  What is our purpose?  Why do we know things?  Why hasn’t Ellen met this kid or Oprah given him a book deal yet?  What even is time or gravity or truth?!  The mind reels.

If we’re friends on Facebook you may recall a post from this last winter where I babysat a 3 year old who held such wisdom in her that my life was forever changed.  She informed me that we all get not only a favorite color, but a best color as well.  Like, seriously?!  Mind = Blown!  I have never been the same.  I can pick two?!  Life is SO good, guys!

If you know me outside this blog world, you know I adore children.  I’ve worked with them since I was one myself and interacted with all kinds.  Being one who’s always been pro storytelling, I feel like Otter is my latest and greatest soul mate find.

As we ended our night, gearing up for the ride back home, Otter’s parents came over to collect their kids-yes he has an equally adorable and clever little 3 year old sister who has a dolly named Paddy O’Dean (Patty O’Green to be exact)-they thanked us for taking the time to talk with Otter and listen.

I don’t know where life will take Otter, maybe he’ll become a Mad Scientist of the Doctor Calico persuasion, or the kind that cures cancer, or a paleontologist who finds the missing fossils and completes the Spinosaurus skeleton.  Maybe he will break the time continuum and travel back to the day we met, or more interestingly when dinosaurs still roamed the earth.  Regardless, I have no doubt, he’s meant for great things.  And if I ever have doubts in life, I know I’ll smile remembering the certainty, curiosity, and the imagination of a very impactful little boy.

Because for a little spell, a child can share a bit of magic and alter your universe forever…even on a Monday.

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Catch Up Post: #GirlBoss…

*Catch up post from February 2016…late to the party, I know*

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“The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.”  –Mohadesa Najumi

I read in a book once…”The mistress of self-reinvention…”  And I’ve decided I quite like that.  She is me.  I am her.  That fickle little mistress of self-reinvention.  Always wondering and wandering through my mind about my next best move.  Geographically and mentally, physically and emotionally…where will I go next?  What will I do?  Who will I be?

The beauty of life is being in control of your own fate.  Securing your own destiny.  We are always, in every minute of every day, just one choice away from a different path.  How brilliant and empowering is that?!  Even when the current shifts universally and a situation is out of our hands, we still get to control our choice on how we react or respond.  Lately I’ve been getting naturally high on the idea of female empowerment.  Obviously an idea that has overcome serious peaks and valleys over time, but always relevant.  I feel in my veins this need to be a woman of empowerment who empowers others…specifically women.  Somehow it’s been growing fiercer inside of me in recent months and I’m not certain if that’s due to the fact that I just turned 30 and with this new decade, I feel a fresh sense of enlightenment and a drive to do more or if it has to do with what I have overcome and experienced in my life which has inevitably lead me to this point…either way, I’m owning it.

In 2016, thanks to the amazing women who fought and died for our legal and social equality, we have a serious “girl power” movement happening.  Front lined by women in power, of opinion, on platforms of fame and so on.  Although it seems that the road is still bumpy at times, it’s paved more than it ever has been before, with some potholes to keep things interesting.  This brings me to this concept of the Girl Boss.  I’ve had some battles with this term for awhile now and I’d like to explain them here which I hope will ignite a dialogue because I’m always looking for feedback.

On one hand…

I think the term Girl Boss is bullshit.  There I said it.  I think it’s f*cking lame and stupid and we should throw it out.  Why?  No, it’s not because I’m a traitor to my own gender.  It’s because I think we should ALL be bosses of our own damn lives.  Why make it a “girl” specific thing?  To me, that just gives more man power to the existing term “boss”.  Sometimes we forget to fight for ourselves, to be the leading lady in our own lives.  We lose sight of our balls {which let’s face it ladies, are more intact than most of the dudes we encounter-am I right?} from time to time and need a reminder to grab life by the pants and get back to being the boss.

On the other hand…

The term Girl Boss is legit.  Because in any situation of oppression, there is profound power in owning the very thing that is attempting to hold someone or a group down.  Women have been quieted, pushed back, been told to stand still and look pretty, be the Susie Homemaker and perfect mother aka superwoman for centuries.  I do think that coining it specifically to girls/women gives an even stronger voice to the concept.

Two ways of looking at it, maybe even more…but the thing that truly matters, is that one of the great things coming out of this year so far is female power.  If you haven’t found your inner lady boss b*tch, I encourage you to spend some time finding her…I assure you, she’s a warrior, a passionate woman, a force to be reckoned with…and she’s screaming to get out.

Xx in warriorhood and #girlbossing,

Me

My So-Called Life Right Now…Part II

***This is a long overdue catch up post from August 2016 as a follow-up to My So-Called Life Right Now… re-read it for clarification***

“Entry Level Job Opening: Hiring Recent College Grads

Requirements: 5 years of experience, 6 Olympic Gold Medals and superpowers.”

Dear People Who Thought My Last Life Post Was Readable,

I’ve been using my free time away from job hunting to work on my fitness…

I almost have a six-pack.

Like in my fridge.

Since I’m broke, I’m sort of just collecting one at a time until I have a full set…it’s like Pokemon Go, “gotta catch ’em all!”

When I’m not sunning myself and hydrating, I’m practicing my teleportation skills.  So far, I’ve only been able to move from the house to the yard.  I have my sights and mind spidey powers set on Australia though since that seemed to be the last time I felt like life made sense.  Stay tuned, I feel like a breakthrough isn’t too far…

The biggest goal I’d say I’ve accomplished this far into summer is…wait, I know there’s something…hold on, OH! Yep, still a tan.  Mostly just a tan.

A highlight this summer has been driving 6 hours to my hometown to work at the boutique, yes that is how desperate times have gotten.  I have to drive and spend over 1/3 of a long weekend’s pay on gas, thank you America.

The best part about all of this…my life is seriously amazing.  STILL!  Yes, I’m stressed and I just spent my last quarter on a gum ball to re-live my childhood because adulting is rough.  BUT, I am always finding reasons to wake up happy and be SO damn grateful for everything I have.  I challenge you: if you’re ever in a bind and money is tight (or non-existent) and you feel like you have nothing and you get wrapped up in or on the brink of that “woe is me” crap, it really helps to take your last bit of pride, a couple of dimes or dollars and pay them forward to someone who needs them even more than you do.  Also, don’t forget to notice the amazing support system around you because let me tell you, if I didn’t have the people in my life that I do, I’d have already been working at an establishment in the strip club capital of everywhere.

Perspective is power, people…and I’ve gained a WHOLE lot of it this year.

More catch up posts to come…

Yours in laughter to hide the tears!

xx,

Me