“When life hands you lemons…just say f*ck the lemons and bail…”
Dear People Who Read This and/or Care for An Update,
Yesterday I created my own spin on this quote whilst sunning myself. Since life has handed me some serious bushels of lemons lately, I decided to make a wine spritzer (or 5) and reflect on my life.
I’m still unemployed in Portland. Over the past 3+ months, I’ve sent out countless resumes, worked with a recruiting agency including 3 different types of recruiters at said agency, been on interviews, had phone interviews and even FaceTime interviews-I find the key is turning into a living mullet for those…business on top, party pants (or bikini) on bottom. I have done all these things for jobs both here in Portland and in Seattle.
I spent all last weekend working on a 15 question email interview for a luxury travel company in Seattle and thought I nailed it…I got a rejection email Monday, which brings the tally of “no” emails this week to 2.
I somehow have not become an alcoholic yet, likely due to the fact that I am a broke ass ho that also refuses to earn money for my fix on the dirty streets. Life has also not gotten bad enough for me to seek employment in the strip club capital of the Pacific Northwest…stay tuned, things change quickly around here.
Ummm, I’m currently trying to plot how to get paid for being utterly ridiculous. I’ve gotten really good at it.
I made myself into an emoji the other day.
Which means two things:
- I really need a f*cking job
- My life has reached a serious low point.
In other news, I’ve gotten an excellent summer tan as I’ve laid in the sun 2 hours a day for the past 6 days and before that spent an epic wedding weekend in the Chelan sun.
That leads us to yesterday.
Where I found myself reading in my yard. Where I finished a bottle of white wine before it was 5 o’clock somewhere (YOLO!) and where I started the 3rd book I’ve begun in 3 weeks…
Feel free to judge me or laugh immensely at me now. OR, relate to me and tell me I’m not alone in my FUNemployment adventures.
Either way, read this while drinking a strong beverage…I find it helps! Also, I hope this makes you smile. Although life is proving challenging for me this year and especially in the recent months, I’m always finding a reason to keep on keepin’ on, you should too.
Yours in humor, smart assism, and warriorhood!