“share with people who have earned the right to hear your story…” -brené brown
i don’t know about you, but i don’t particularly trust people who haven’t been through some real life, intense sh*t. not to say i don’t respect them, i do. that’s also not to say that i don’t like them…i just don’t really trust them.
to me, trust comes from the profound connection and mutual acceptance of another human on this planet who is just as messed up as you are. we are all imperfect beings, beautified by our myriad of mistakes and our delicious flaws. the more scars we endure, the more empathetic and truly deep we become. these scars are earned over time. for life is a game of trial and error, falling down and getting back up, that constant battle between head and heart, the battle of your inner strength vs weakness…and only those of us who choose to be strong, conquer the front lines of our darkest days can truly understand the depths of other wounded souls. there is a power in choosing to be vulnerable and following your heart. there is a divine splendor in mindfulness when it comes to delicate matters that require some critical thinking. i’ve been through some life, man. i’ve walked through fires, loved and lost, experienced death and said goodbyes that came all too soon, grieved relationships with lovers and friends who just weren’t conducive to new directions my life story was taking. my deepest friendships are with those who have their own stories to tell. stories of pain and grief and acknowledgement of their shortcomings, a sharing of their battle scars and a telling of their innermost downfalls. we all make mistakes right? it’s what makes us human and makes us real. as a society, we seem to conform to the idea that striving for “perfection” is a priority, but for those of us not plugging into the brainwash of American “normals”, we choose to see the world and the roles we serve in it a little differently.
the tapestries we weave as we journey through life, become our legacy, should we choose to rise to that opportunity. we can choose whether or not our story will be one to influence and help others or be one that settles into the dust pit of failure. the only failure i truly see in building your lifeline is when you don’t take the chances…when you don’t make the mistakes that shape you emotionally, when you don’t learn the lessons that direct your moral compass, when you allow defeat to define you. failure is a choice. it has nothing to do with luck or good karma. success comes to those who have lived through some serious life sh*t, dug their own tunnels and come into the light, hit rock bottom and built an empire from the cracked ground they started from, endured countless bad days, sometimes of their own making, and decided to hold onto the knowledge that one good day can be the ticket needed on their pursuit of happiness.
maya angelou said, “when people show you who they are, believe them the first time…” which is such a challenge for us to do because so often we allow expectations to seep into the cracks of our broken selves where we must allow trust to live instead. we build up these ideas of how it should be when we really need to focus on what is staring us right in the face. the beauty within those cracks is where the most brilliant lessons are learned. whether we are staring at ourselves in the mirror or looking at ourselves reflected in another’s eyes, we have to let go of expectation and allow things to unfold in their natural progression. in the madness there is a beauty, in the messiness there is an order. we can find our counterparts in another when we gain an acceptance of self. this becomes the most important lesson we can learn and falling in love with who you are at your most naked and raw core is the reward that enables us to share our truest selves with another.
life is a game of trust falls. first, we must learn to trust ourselves. trust our instincts. that guttural pull we feel when we’ve come to a point where a decision is required, that life crossroads where we must commit to a path that has multiple outcomes, that tug on your heart strings that ignites that massive lump in your throat, creating that domino effect in your tear ducts. always trust your instincts. when you trust yourself, it makes it a lot easier to grow into trusting others. you’ll make a million and one mistakes, some of them you will repeat time and time again, sometimes you’ll feel like you’re crazy and unbelievably stupid for taking chances or letting people in, giving them a piece of your heart that can so easily break, allowing them a slice of your soul that can so readily escape, but there are those rare people who when we give them the chance to, walk into our lives to show us that we can always trust that we are not alone. and while you’re on the journey…you’ll find that the people you connect with the most, have stories just as uniquely flawed and beautifully marred as yours.