vanishing acts…

“‘you,’ he said, ‘are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, i believe, is why you are in so much pain.”


as children…we believe in magic…as we grow up and our innocence fades through life experience…we forget how to express ourselves…we forget to believe…

in this day and age of technology, we walk around with our heads down most of the time, allowing a screen to do the talking for us.  fingers hard at work, the ticker tape moving rapidly across our overly stimulated brain waves, we step onto the moving walkway and we zone out into our day to day lives.  call me old fashioned, but i still love talking to a human face to face.  i still write letters and send postcards and read books that collect dust and have pages to turn. don’t get me wrong, i have a smart phone, although in truth, my iphone4 isn’t that smart anymore since it’s now considered an ancient artifact and will likely be showing up in a museum tomorrow.  i have an ipad that acted as my computer while i was off traveling. i have a laptop.  i use and rely on technology so let’s not get it twisted and take this as a hypocritical rant.  i use technology.  my point is…the generation of digerati, us millenials, we are disappearing…and my fear is, as we near the point of no return a little more with each new tech toy release…we may never be found again.

as females, most of us have known at least one of those guys…the ones who manage to steal our hearts, gain our trust and then BAM! magic happens…they disappear…only at the time of disappearance, it doesn’t feel like magic…it feels like shit.  much like that magician on your heart and mind, our reliance on technology has created an addiction in us.  you get stoked on your new piece of hardware, the new guy in your life, a new app, the just because it’s wednesday flowers, the day you get 47 likes on a new profile photo, when you finally get to meet his mates…then maybe as you’re texting and walking at the same time, a dangerous multitasking feat as we all know, feeling your feelings, a light post comes out of nowhere and releases the cold, hard device from your hand and your life moves in slow motion as it takes wings, soaring then falling to its potential death on the hardened concrete, the “we need to talk” conversation happens, he’s gone.  a shattered screen, now brings a shattered heart.  does anyone else feel sick to their stomachs right now?  when did we get so busy swiping to the next profile that we forgot about the art of dating?  when did we get so busy typing that we forgot about holding hands?  when you are able to meet a person who can keep your attention longer than your high score on candy crush saga {dear friends on facebook, please stop sending me requests!!!}, it’s practically a miracle these days…i might have mentioned a time or two that dating in your twenties is pretty much awful {refer to about 20 out of 50 something blog posts}…much like that shattered smartphone screen, there is your heart.  broken into pieces and left disappointed and longing for something more.  a few more likes, some new laughs, attention at the cost of something…anything. we are ruining our own lives in app time and real time by becoming desensitized,  by creating a false self.

 selling our souls to bright screens has created a fear of human interaction…we’re nervous we talk too much, verbal destruction is a thing that can’t be cured in some, we worry we will fall too hard, feel too intensely, show too much vulnerability.  when did we decide that was a terrible idea?!  life is short…too short to hold things back and create a 2.0 version of yourself for people to see on tinder or on facebook.  of course everyone’s life can look brilliant when you’re using an airbrush photo app or filtering all of your pictures before you click share…it’s easy to announce your day has been grand when you’re writing it in a status update, making edits so you sound more appealing, but some of those “friends” of ours, are really just covering their truth.  when did we get so interested in how we’re viewed online?  why do we care so much that our lives LOOK good and forget how to be authentic and allow them to FEEL good?  when we strip ourselves of the chains that bind us, put down the smartphone, get back to being the smarthuman, allow ourselves to live in our rawest form, there is a magic that develops and an honesty that is not tainted by how many “likes” you can get. we’ve become so busy writing about ourselves to appeal to our viewers that we’ve forgotten how to express ourselves in real, honest, can’t get this moment back, time.  finding someone you can connect with outside of screen time is like finding a f*cking unicorn.  i don’t mean this just in dating, but in finding good people to call your friends as well.  i can’t help but wonder if with relying so much on the “magic” of our screens, we’ve lost that childish belief in real magic…the magic of connecting with someone who alters your world, finding a new place that becomes a home, getting lost in a foreign land to find yourself, disconnecting from material things invented to distract you so you can connect with breathtaking landscapes that were created for you and the people you should share them with.  we have become so busy making a living…we have forgotten how to make a life.  

sometimes, we need to take a moment and look up…

for these vanishing games we play…can make us disappear from knowing love and each other altogether…if we let them.  so as we continue to walk, dance and twirl down this road called life…i hope today and everyday, we remember to stop…set the phone down and be present in the moment we physically sit in now…allow ourselves to emotionally be there…to become real people…despite the falseness that surrounds us…for it is the only way to truly open a heart to love and to magic.


4 thoughts on “vanishing acts…

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