episode one

“not all those who wander are lost…”

i certainly hope that’s true because i am a wanderer of sorts, however, do not consider myself to be lost.  do you ever feel like the universe is a stand up comedian and all the jokes are at your expense?  you don’t? just me? ok.  well my universal comedy show gets better and better as i get further into my twenties.  the things that happen to me are baffling and confusing…really all i can do is take it as it comes and laugh.  laughing is said to be the music of the soul…well my comedy show makes me laugh so hard sometimes that the music produced from it is a compilation of angry mozart, underground hip hop, led zeppelin, jefferson airplane, coldplay, and rage against the machine…after dropping acid and then taking speed.  paints ya a pretty picture huh?  welcome to my world.  it’s colorful and comical and terribly awesome.

have you ever dated one of those guys?  you know…the ones that make you head over heels for them and then drive a mack truck straight through your chest when they decide they’re too scared to be with you?  yeah…i’ve dated one of those too. it was a first love kind of love.  the kind that wraps you up and takes hold of your naive little heart and makes you feel like nothing could ever get better than this.  well…it does and it can.  it’s funny how sometimes the first real heartbreak can be the best gift that person ever gave you.  when you date those kinds of guys…they usually have a way of coming back to haunt you.  mine certainly has.  he’s always been a charmer…how could he not be with his irish last name, big green eyes and blonde curly hair?  no shit at 18-20 years old i was a goner.  he’s a good person, sensitive and sweet.  but we all have a dark side don’t we?  that side that has the power to hurt another person so deeply that the scar never really fades.  i’ve turned my scars into a crafty game of tic-tac-toe over the years.  you have to make something positive out of the negative or you will most surely drown people…you have to keep swimming.

how’s this for comedy?  5 years after no contact…no texting, e-mailing, calling, seeing each other, facebook stalking (he doesn’t even have one)…literally nothing…this first love, the blast from the past…contacts me.  two days before i am to be off on a hawaiian vacation, he called me.  whoa. i know.  within 72 hours of that phone call…on new year’s eve, whilst enjoying sushi dinner in downtown waikiki, i receive a new e-mail.  from none other then another ex-boyfriend.  this one was of no particular importance except that he was a time filler right after i left college and moved to the city.  we had nothing in common, no special spark, he just took up about 10 months of my life and then i finally grasped my independence firmly by the balls and broke up with him and never looked back.  i hadn’t heard from in 2 years.  the e-mail was ridiculous.  hi, universe, it’s hallie.  you can stop now.  all i could do was laugh at the irony of it all.

i can’t make this shit up people!  timing is a like an annoying younger sibling sometimes. always in your face and never listens when you tell it to get out of your damn room.  but at the end of the day, even though you can’t explain it…you love it anyway.

so there you have it…episode one that brought me into 2013.  if it’s any incling into how the rest of this year will go…i’m not worried.  i only have two other real ex-boyfriends that could contact me and make me laugh until i almost pee my pants…the good news is i have plenty of back up pairs of pants on the ready…it’s alllll good.  so far this year i have learned the following:

  • life will always keep you on your toes so keeping them nicely pedicured is always a good idea.
  • you can’t ever trust that your life is normal or ordinary (and why would you want that?!)
  • what doesn’t kill you REALLY does make you stronger…no seriously…my biceps are the strongest they have been since high school volleyball season.
  • jumping out of airplanes (skydiving 12,000 feet above the ocean), surfing, meeting new people, writing, taking photographs, laughing, crying, traveling and feeling are all the things i need to be doing right now.

stay tuned for episode two…it is sure to be nothing less than humorous.

2 thoughts on “episode one

  1. Blogging has an interesting effect on you, my dear….it makes you express yourself out loud. How’s that for profound? Keep it up, I like what I read. As for old boyfriends showing up out of the blue, I say: 1) They are feeling the ripple effect of you hitting your groove – the universe will sway towards you, and those close enough to feel the tremors in your “web” of life might just reach out; 2) You’re a total catch and they are losers for ever letting you go – it’s a compliment! 3) It’s the universe testing your mettle…just as you are about to fly across the world in pursuit of your dreams, your past comes singing like a siren, trying to lure you back to what you once found irresistable. Stay focused, hold on and jump like you are hurling yourself from a plane 🙂

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